How to Tell if You Attend the American Patriotic Church

                                                                +AMDG+
THE MASKED ANGEL:
(Disclaimer: this is not the big project I'm working on. I just had this for some time and just now got around to finishing it.)




So in light of this video, how can you tell if you're in the American Patriotic Church?



-If the tabernacle is either off to the side or nowhere near the main altar, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If the head priest goes more than four sermons without mentioning either hell, sin, judgment, or condemnation of artificial birth control, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If most of the congregation wears casual clothes in the church, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If lay people distribute the Eucharist directly with their hands, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If almost no one kneels when receiving the Eucharist, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If the Ascension of Jesus is celebrated on Sunday and not Thursday, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If your bishops or assistant bishops let politicians who oppose Church teachings receive Communion, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If your (arch)diocese acknowledges less than four Holy Days of Obligation, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If your (arch)diocese doesn't have any Latin Masses, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If your (arch)diocese does allow it but only at times and places where most people in the area don't live, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If the alter servers contain two or more girls, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If the priests in the area either openly support or have sympathy towards the gay community, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If there are stories in the area about one of the priests being openly gay but no one goes to investigate,
you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If priests show up to rally against capital punishment, but hardly if ever show up to protest Planned
Parenthood, you're in the American Patriotic Church.
-If the laypeople can't remember any sermons where men are called on to act like men, you're in the American Patriotic Church.